As every red-blooded American is fully aware, this weekend marked the beginning of the professional football season. I’m something of a football fan, so I was pretty much glued to my television for the last couple of days—despite the fact that I care about Australian Rules Football almost as much as I care about any of the teams that have been shown on DC’s local television stations over the last two days. Still, there’s just something delightfully invigorating about the start of the football season. It marks the beginning of many Sundays watching hours of football at home, or more likely, at the bar; it marks the beginning of many Mondays spent sitting and cursing my fantasy football team and questioning why God hates the New York Giants so very, very much; and it marks the glorious period where summer gently gives way into fall—my most favorite-est season here in Washington.
Yes, I’m very excited about the beginning of football season and all that it entails.
There is, however, something that I’m worried is going to mar this coming football season for me—and that something is Peyton Manning.
I have nothing against Peyton Manning as a football player or the Colts as a football team. I don’t even have any truck with those people (like some of my co-bloggers), who believe that Peyton Manning is the second incarnation of Christ (despite the fact that he generally can’t throw for shit under actual pressure). No, my issue with Payton Manning is with all his damned commercials.
I swear, Peyton Manning is in literally every damned commercial during each and every break in each and every football game. Evidently, this fall consumers can only purchase two types of products: iPods nanos and products being sold by Mr. Manning. As far as I can tell, right now Payton is currently pushing credit cards, sports drinks, cell phones, televisions, television stations, and satellite dishes. Not only is Manning selling just about every possible type of consumer product, but evidently the powers that be in the advertising industry have decided that we need to see every single one of his commercials during every single commercial break. It’s a little ridiculous.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge professional athletes the right to sell out make even bigger piles of dirty money to endorse various products. I even used to enjoy those credit card commercials that Manning was in. But there’s a fine line between product endorsement and selling the hell out. To my mind, it’s one thing for Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan to make billions of dollars from a single company like Nike, and a whole different thing when athletes start schilling for every damned company under the sun. I mean, at least last year, Manning’s commercials were semi-humorous. This year, it just kind of creeps me out how many commercials he’s in. I mean seriously, Sears? It’s enough to make me wonder just why Peyton needs so much endorsement money. He’s already making scads of dirty money so where does it all go? Gambling debts? Anabolic steroids? Dozens of illegitimate children?
I dunno, maybe I’m being a little harsh on Mr. Manning. After all, every American celebrity has the god-given right to cash in on their fame. I just worry that we’re getting a little bit over-saturated with Manning commercials. If I have to see that creepy phone commercial where he’s running down a hallway towards that kid from the Shining one more time, I’m going to become a Patriots fan.
Seriously, if I were Mr. Manning’s agent, I would suggest that he stop selling out here in the U.S. and that he start doing like all other American celebrities by getting himself on some billboards over in Japan…that, and possibly get involved with the advertising masterminds over there at Eastern Motors.
Entries (RSS)
September 11th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
i have done nothing but read the title of this post and already know it’s worthless, since you can’t even spell the man’s name right. get your shit together and then get back to me. until then, i consider you a moron. love you long tim.
September 11th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
You and I both know that you’ll always consider me a moron. Still, i appreciate the correction…i mean, i have no idea what you’re talking about.
September 11th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
I made this observation last season. In my head. And to my drunk friends.
September 11th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
the fact that you think commercials are ruining football season more than, say, newsy items like 1.) the patriots spying on the jets last week, or 2.) a certain patriots player getting caught with HGH, makes you sound like a girl who makes her NCAA pool picks based on jersey colors.
i also don’t recall the great bastard-bearer tom brady being in any united way commercials, unlike peyton. that’s because he hates kids. which means he also hates america and its future. and i hate him even more for that.
similarly, you know it’s tough to say peyton can’t throw for shit while under pressure when a.) he’s going to own every single significant passing record in the nfl in about 20 minutes, and b.) he won a super bowl with statistically the worst defense in history. the man is a demigod.
good luck with tavaris jackson this season, buddy. maybe he’ll make an eastern motors commercial one day.
September 11th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Word on the street is that Tavaris recently used his Colts connection, Leslie Frazier, to call Peyton. I wonder if by grace of God there is a tape of that convo floating around somewhere — the comedic potential is incalculable.
Skol Vikes. Skol Tom Brady and his illegitimate kid.
p.s. nice to see you fools can show a pulse on this thing in the month of September. I know what your’e thinking: “But there are only FIVE of us, how can we possibly…”
September 11th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Arjewtino - This phenomenon has clearly been going on for a while now, and even Manning himself made a joke of all his commercial appearances when he hosted SNL. I think what’s got me fired up is that his commercials seem even more ubiquitous this season and, more unforgivably, they’re the sort of commercials that make me want to change the channel.
DA - Speaking of things that Manning joked about on SNL:
Q: What do Tom Brady and the circus have in common?
A: They both have two more rings than manning.
Boon - That would be a fantastic conversation to hear…as for our blog, next week’s topic is going to be just how glad i am that you don’t live here any more. Ass.
September 11th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Personally I don’t think you can have too much Peyton, but look at it this way, it could be worse. Would you rather every commercial have that asshat TO in it?
And the reason God hates the New York Giants is because THEY’RE THE NEW YORK GIANTS.
Just sayin’…
September 11th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
B@L: I may take a page from the Reggie Bush playbook and fill your tub with chili next time I’m in DC
September 11th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
[…] Why Peyton Manning Is Already Ruining Football Season. Tickle My Kittens. The writer Bad at Life: Payton is currently pushing credit cards, sports drinks, cell phones, televisions, television stations, and satellite dishes. […]
September 12th, 2007 at 7:48 am
that’s a good call. I’m a Peyton fan in that he’s a good ball player AND not a scumbag (that we know) simultaneously. And he’s done some funny things - the United Way sketch on SNL, the chili tub. But I noticed the same thing on Sunday and wondered what in the hell was going on. I’m afraid I’ll pick up a random product in my fridge and there his face will be. Or on a box of Tampax.
September 12th, 2007 at 7:54 am
good post. can you say overkill?
September 12th, 2007 at 8:12 am
You boys getting all worked up over football–calm down. It’s just a game. A game played by a bunch of self-important AssClowns.
Also, I think “Peyton” is a girl’s name.
September 12th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Kim - I respectfully disagree. You most definitely can have too much Peyton. But clearly the giants have done something to inspire the wrath of god…perhaps it has something to do with employing another one of those damned Mannings.
Boon - I’d be careful with those threats. I’ll probably visit you before you come back here to DC. I can’t imagine your lady friend would react kindly to me filling anything in your apartment with chili.
Carrie - I did enjoy the SNL united way bit…and i actually think it’d be fitting if he started showing up on boxes of Tampons. After all, Peyton is a girl’s name….
Mindy - Whoa, hey now. Let’s not go knocking the entire sport of football. I’m not sure you should even be allowed to reside in the great state of minnesota if you’re not a football fan. Still, I think you’re absolutely right that Peyton is a girl’s name. He probably does all those commercials so he can buy himself pretty dresses.
September 12th, 2007 at 10:38 am
You know, I wonder how you all would feel if it was one of our own players who was getting all the promotions are air time.
Clearly Payton is a popular player who is very likable, and he just won the superbowl, so he deserves it, I guess the jury is still out on whether we deserve to be bombarded with his face in every commercial.
I say if it is imformative or funny, bring it on, I’m fine with it, it’s better than most everything else out there!
www.dcmetrocentric.com
Johnny
September 12th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
If you don’t care about Aussie Rules football, you probably should. And support the Brisbane Lions. Just so you know
September 12th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Where does all the money go? Well, some of it goes to help sick children in Indianapolis: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1892222/posts
I particularly like his quote about how having his name on the hospital carries with it the commitment to make significant contributions to its success. While I agree that amount of commercials featuring Peyton Manning is overkill, I think it’s in poor taste to insinuate that he’s got a lot of nasty things to hide. In reality, Peyton Manning is a shining example of what a sports star should be. He gives a lot to the community, he has class, he’s articulate; in short, he’s actually someone that you would want your kids to look up to, unlike many, many other sports stars, such as Michael Vick, TO, and the Indianapolis Pacers. So criticize his commercials if you want, but save the character-maligning for those that deserve it.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Johnny - I agree, if a commercial is funny or in some way interesting to watch, I have no qualms. I truly did enjoy those credit card commercials he was in as well as that Gatorade commercial where Kevin Garnett was delivering gatorade like milk to a bunch of professional athletes (but that’s only because KG was in it). My real issue here, however, is that I think he’s being a little less selective in what he chooses to endorse.
E:) - Brisbane Lions. Good to know. Now if you can just tell me where in the world I’d be able to watch aussie rules football, i’ll get right on it.
Kelly - I’m guessing you’re a Colts fan. I think what I’ve enjoyed most about this post is just how worked up Colts fans (like you and two of my co-bloggers) seem to get at the mere suggestion that Manning is anything less than perfect. I really don’t get it. Professional athletes aren’t always perfect. I loved Michael Jordan. He had a gambling problem. The latter didn’t detract from his greatness as a basketball player. Babe Ruth is a baseball legend and he was a drunk. Again, the one has nothing to do with the other. And Payton Manning is a future hall of fame quarter back who happens to be in a pile of shitty commercials. The only difference between Jordan’s gambling, Ruth’s drinking, and Manning’s ads is that it’s a little harder for me to ignore the commercials. Still, I’m not suggesting that the ads keep him out of Canton…at least not until they discover all those aforementioned illegitimate children….
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:53 pm
What an idiot… Would you rather see stuff about Mike Vick and the roid users than someone that is actually good for the game? This article smacks of jealousy.
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:35 am
Eastern Motors!!! That one had me cracking up…who makes these commercials anyway? I have this image of hundreds of monkeys in a room with typewriters writing the theme song lyrics.
November 3rd, 2007 at 10:51 am
It’s 10:43 AM on Saturday; I have a pimple on my ass; Peyton Manning is on TV:
“…Marshall law, unrest, rescue teams, Oprah, stream of conscience, NE USA, Hugo Chavez, constitution, flags, students, political uncertainty, flood water, NHL, subpoenaed, lobbyists in espionage, appear in court on Monday, statement issued, compassion and sensitivity…”
PEYTON MANNING
April 20th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I know I’m months behind on this post but I’m sure people are still reading it. I have to agree with BadAtLife. Kelly, please wake up and take off the rose colored glasses. Peyton is nothing like his publicist and agents make him up to be. I was personally with a dear friend in a Nashville bar and he was highly intoxicated and attempted to force himself on her in a most offensive way, and what I’m saying is assault. She went on and didn’t press charges, 2 weeks later he raped a girl. She went to her attorney and asked if there was any way she could help the girl having been through what she did. His attorney said “Nashville, Peyton Manning, dont even put yourself in the middle of it. They will rake her over the coals and he will come out smelling like a rose..again”. I appreciate his ability to play the game, that’s all great, but as a role model, a human being, or anything else other than a football player he is one of the biggest pieces of crap on the earth. I see Eli just got married, I hope he’s nothing like his brother and actually makes a solid reputation and lives up to it rather than making everyone THINK he’s living up to it.