Tickle My Kittens

OK, the new Coldplay album came out on Tuesday. The thing we all know about Coldplay is that everyone in the band seems to be pretty affable. Nice guys. And they’re not afraid to say they rip off other bands. Honestly, who doesn’t rip someone else off at some point, right? But they can put everyone to sleep. I-Bankers on three-day coke binges use X&Y to relax before heading into work the next day. You know, though, sometimes you need that. Coldplay is the new Enya in this regard.

What really bothers me about Coldplay is how insultingly simple the lyrics are. Here is a bit from “42,” off the new album:

Those who are dead are not dead
They’re just living my head
And since I fell for that spell
I am living there as well
Oh…

Time is so short and I’m sure
There must be something more

Those who are dead are not dead
They’re just living my head oh…
And since I fell for that spell
I am living there as well oh…

At least he didn’t end with “I am living in a well” or “I was given a big, gold bell” or “Is it raining outside? I can’t tell.” It’s ironic that Coldplay is a band that caters to the older, “sensitive adult” crowd, but the lyrics were probably written in crayon on the back of a Trapper Keeper.

Here is a poem I wrote when I was in 5th grade — I’m sure you can see my talent:

I walked through the garden
And I saw a bench
On it was an old cheeseburger
It gave off quite a stench.

Add in some soaring piano and that shit goes platinum.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 11:05 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.