Coldplay was in town last night. I went with two friends to see them, and I suspect that the four of you who’ve read this blog before already know my opinion of Chris Martin’s songwriting abilities (hell, we update so infrequently that you could probably scroll down to see what I wrote two months ago).
Anyway, I went into the concert with very low expectations. I listened to their first two albums all day yesterday, just willing them to please play something decent from before 2005 (OK, so they played ‘Yellow’ and not ‘High Speed’ but at least I didn’t have to hear too much from X&Y). So, anyway, the three of us agreed to meet at the Green Turtle beforehand to grab some drinks.
We had a few drinks and tried to enjoy ourselves while 6,000 of our closest friends all of a sudden crammed into the bar too. I mean, the Green Turtle is serviceable, but I couldn’t really get why it was completely full of sweaty, loud humans when so many other bars are around the corner (and I doubt it was the Miller Lite “Special” — $3.50/bottle. What a steal!).
It wasn’t until we got into the Verizon Center that I found out why everyone showed up all at once…there was a bomb threat at the Verizon Center!
OK, OK, I know what you’re thinking. How could that be, when we’re all at the Green Turtle? Shouldn’t we have heard sirens? What about policemenpeople? Well, yes, we heard them, and we saw them. But, it wasn’t like they came into the bar to clear us out, so it couldn’t be a problem with the stadium, right?
Wrong. From what I heard afterward, the arena was evacuated, but they didn’t evacuate the bar, which was, you know, still a part of the Verizon Center. Thanks, DC. Leave the drinkers to die in a heap of alcohol soaked flames.
Had the suspicious package exploded outside of Clyde’s (which is where I heard it was), I would have died with a Miller Lite in my hand. In retrospect, I also realize I could have died clutching more embarrassing items. But, thankfully, it was not a real bomb.
So, fast forward to the concert. Santogold was a great opener (well, second act. I missed the first opening act, since I was too busy drinking booze and not getting evacuated), but she didn’t get the respect she deserved from the audience. Get with the program, DC. She’ll be a big deal soon. Get on the bandwagon now.
Coldplay played for about 80 minutes, and they opened with a couple of tracks from their newest album, which was fine. It appears that they desperately want to be U2 after U2 kicks the bucket, and that’s OK. There are times where you just need to see a good laser light show, and Coldplay didn’t disappoint in that regard.
What was disappointing was the fact that they played for 80 minutes, including the encore. When U2 was there in 2005, I think they played for 2.5 hours, so if they want to be known as a real stadium band, they’d better pick up the slack here and learn some stamina (that’s what she said).
Still, they ended the show with “Death and All His Friends,” which is a pretty phenomenal track (and the highlight of their newest album). As you know, Coldplay caters to an older, sensitive crowd, and waaaaay up at section 403, we were surrounded by the over 35 crowd, minus a few teenagers behind us who equated Coldplay’s appeal to Harry Potter, which may be more astute than they realized. The over 35 crowd and Under 17 crowd both love Coldplay and Harry Potter, but for vastly different reasons. I was caught somewhere in the middle, probably like most rational people who don’t obsess over either HP or Coldplay, and the things I liked about Coldplay and stadium shows were there (laser light shows, beer, and spectacle), while the things I didn’t like (Chris Martin being “awww-gosh” and self-depricating–dude, get a new schtic, the X&Y album, and Coldplay’s stupid 19th Century battlefield outfits) were there in spades as well.
At the end of it, I was impressed with the production but still annoyed with how “light” the whole experience was. It was polished but sort of soulless, the same way a brand new kitchen looks, with shiny appliances and counter tops, but just waiting for someone to get in there and make a mess and come out with something really memorable.
So, in essence, Chris Martin isn’t a 5th grader (as I mentioned in an earlier post). I take that back. The dude is a robot who exhibits some of humanity’s most annoying traits — excessive self deprecation, too many guffaws, and too few reasons to consider them to be a legitimate rock tour de force.
I just realized that I talked myself away from my original thought, “Coldplay doesn’t suck that much,” to “Chris Martin is a robot.” So, ignore the headline. Coldplay kind of sucks after all.
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August 4th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Hey! I enjoyed ths post! I myself enjoy Coldplay, and it seems like you enjoyed it so, so. Atleast I hope you did. I’ll check back on your blog freuqnetly!
August 4th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Come on - they rocked! You can’t really believe what you’ve written here.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:19 am
alex: thanks for visiting, and please feel free to compliment me as much as you want.
Famous: i do believe everything i’ve written here. they weren’t all bad, but come on, an 80-minute concert is not an appropriate amount of time for a stadium rock-out. what did you think of santogold?
August 5th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
a) I can think of no better way to go than with a Miller Lite in hand, so stop pretending to be elitist. 2) I am quite impressed that you didn’t slip in there that you, you know, hung out with Bono when U2 played. 3) What about that pair of Harry Potter glasses in your bedroom? You look over 35, so I think it’s totally OK to embrace your HP obsession.
August 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
TF: 1.) you’d go out with a zima in your hand, you fraud. b.) i was too drunk off of miller lites to remember bono and his disproportionately large head. three) even if i look like i’m over 35, i am just barely 22, so i am well within the acceptable range of people to get annoyed by both HP and coldplay.